Warning: I am about to rant and rave...
There is something that has been really bothering me lately. It started with a playdate my daughters had with another little girl they know from church. I was shocked by how grown up this little girl was! During a car ride, I overheard her talking to my children about the "birds and bees" and several other things that made me want to pull the car over and wash her mouth out with soap right there on the spot. At our home, she laughed at my two little girlies for the way they dance (mostly hopping up and down and spinning in circles) and started to teach them the "right" way to do it- when I sprinted for the off button and hastily ushered them outside for some sidewalk chalking. It would have made me slightly uncomfortable to see dancing like that in a club, but performed by a 4-year-old, I was beyond stunned.
Since that incident, I have become much more aware of the way our young children, especially our daughters, are bombarded with things MUCH too grown up for them. From the sexual to the simply age-inappropriate, I must now officially label myself a concerned parent. As frustrating as it is for me to see my children incessantly bombarded with things much too mature for their years, I am equally frustrated with parents who seem to view these things as "cute." After all, 10 is the new 15, right? I know this may sound rude, but I just really don't see how a 7-year-old with a cell phone in her hand and the word "hottie" displayed across her tush is cute. Seeing a toddler in a bathing suit I would expect to find in a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is not cute. If you let young children wear make-up and listen to adult music, can you be surprised when they want to get their tongues pierced when they are 9 and feel ready to date when they turn 10? Not only are parents setting their children (and themselves) up for some very difficult years, but they are putting their daughters in very real and serious danger.
Sometimes I feel like a mean mom because Ryen and Madelyn ask me if they can wear my make-up and I hand them chapstick or because I won't buy them a Bratz doll. Sometimes what they ask for seems harmless at first, but I have to think about it for a minute and ask myself what it would be teaching them. I owe them that. But, mean mom or not, my daughters are happy, innocent, confident individuals... young individuals. And I will do everything I can to keep them that way.
Since that incident, I have become much more aware of the way our young children, especially our daughters, are bombarded with things MUCH too grown up for them. From the sexual to the simply age-inappropriate, I must now officially label myself a concerned parent. As frustrating as it is for me to see my children incessantly bombarded with things much too mature for their years, I am equally frustrated with parents who seem to view these things as "cute." After all, 10 is the new 15, right? I know this may sound rude, but I just really don't see how a 7-year-old with a cell phone in her hand and the word "hottie" displayed across her tush is cute. Seeing a toddler in a bathing suit I would expect to find in a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is not cute. If you let young children wear make-up and listen to adult music, can you be surprised when they want to get their tongues pierced when they are 9 and feel ready to date when they turn 10? Not only are parents setting their children (and themselves) up for some very difficult years, but they are putting their daughters in very real and serious danger.
Sometimes I feel like a mean mom because Ryen and Madelyn ask me if they can wear my make-up and I hand them chapstick or because I won't buy them a Bratz doll. Sometimes what they ask for seems harmless at first, but I have to think about it for a minute and ask myself what it would be teaching them. I owe them that. But, mean mom or not, my daughters are happy, innocent, confident individuals... young individuals. And I will do everything I can to keep them that way.
"Time passes quickly. Many parents say that it seems like yesterday that their children were born. Now those children are grown, perhaps with children of their own. “Where did the years go?” they ask. Time is a gift, a treasure not to be put aside for the future but to be used wisely in the present." -Thomas S. Monson
11 comments:
And then parents are baffled as to why their 13 year old daughters are sexually active, smoking, drinking, etc. Man, were we raised by the same mom or what. I hear you! I especially hate seeing little girls in things that make them look like they have boobs. You're doing a great job though Meg! You're definitely not a mean mom. You're a smart mom.
You are soooo right, it really is scary and I agree with you 100%. Let's keep their innocence as long as possible and they will be better for it. ~Deena
Yes. And yes. Yes, again, to everything you say. My next-door neighbors are lovely people, both educators, with two lovely daughters...who wear skimpy string bikinis while they're helping Dad wash the car. That's the hard part for me: seemingly sensible people who don't see what's obvious to you and me.
It's funny that Caity mentions your mom...I remember one year at Girls' Camp she suggested providing lace attachments that could be pinned onto shorts that were just TOO short. She was on to something there!
Keep the modesty and know you're doing what's best for your girls.
oh meg. I feel for you deeply. This world is so terrible yet so beautiful. I cannot imagine how scary it is to have 2 girls to raise this day in age. I sometimes want to just grab mothers by the shoulder and slap their little hands because of what they let their daughters do/say/wear. Its shocking. Cell phones make me SO mad. I NEVER had a cell phone until I was graduated. seriously. I think you are an amazing mother and you know exactly what YOUR kids need. Period. You may feel like you are being mean at times butby caring so much your daughters wont be the ones on the corners or pregnant at 15. LOve you.
As a mother of 4 girls, I can tell you that Pres. Monson's quote is right on. They grow up soooo fast. There is absolutely no reason to push them out the door so quickly. My girls don't seem to be in a rush to grow up too fast but I feel like time has slipped by anyway. Cherish the little things and remember them all :)
Great post Megan.
I loved this post Megan! I worry about this issue quite a bit and am thankful that for the most part Payton is satisfied with being young. I am even more aware now how on my guard I need to be. And by the way....I think Bratz dolls should be put to rest! Blasted things should have never been created.
It is so true!!! and so very scary...Carrie, Suz and I have talked about those silly bratz dolls before and how stupid and just not right they are for little girls. I am with you on this one Meg....Way to be a "mean" Mom...I plan to follow in your foot steps for sure!!! Sorry to hear about that little girl...I just can't believe that crap.....so scary to have kids these days....Keep up the good work though...You are the superst Mom ever!!!
AMEN Meg!! Way to stand up for childhood!! What ever happened to play dough and cabbage patch kids? I've seen these little girls too and it terrifies me to imagine what they'll be like at 18 if they're already worldly and immodest at 8! I was disgusted at Target the other day to see in the toddlers clothes section a little tank top for girls that had fake bra straps sewn in that stick out for all to see. TODDLERS!!! You're not alone, and you're a great mom so stick to your guns! Your girls will thank you for it!
I've loved reading everyone's comments so much. Seriously, thank you all for sharing your thoughts. I'm so lucky to have all of this support!
I know I'm a lil late and seems that everyone is on the same page, which is great just thought I'd add a little something. I know that you are not that confrontational but I would have a talk with her Mommy and maybe she doesn't fully know what her little one is doing when not in her direct supervision. Maybe she has a babysitter or daycare where she is learning these things that she may not be bring to her Mom but feels more comfortable sharing with another little friend. There were many times growing up that saw things that were inappropriate outside our home and didn't express that to my parents but to my friends. Just a thought, if it helps great the Mom can be aware and talk to her about it and find out where she is seeing/hearing certian things. If she already knows then at least you tried to intervene on behalf of this little ones innocence. As far as the clothes go I also agree and hate seeing little girls dressed like hutchies. The one thing I have seen moms say is that it's the style and it isn't hurting them it's just clothes they aren't out doing other things and that may be true the thing that I always think about is the others out there looking at them I recently read a Parents magazine article that said Michigan was one of the worst states for how many sex offenders we have per capita. So those "fashionable" clothes may not hurt her directly although lead to more immodesty it may lead to a very scary and dangerous situation you never know who is watching them play from the next house or on the bench at the park. Sorry if I'm rambling but another thing is that I was raised with certain morals regarding clothes, makeup etc but I was also abused so later on I found myself envying how innocent Megan and her sibs were and how I could never have that back. So when you think of what you can give your children ... Love of the Lord, Love of Family and Life, Morality and Modesty Respect for others and Respect for themselves.
SOOOOOOOOOOO True!! Amen! If Adeline ever looks at those Bratz dolls with goo goo eyes, I say "Adeline, we don't really play with BRATS!" Again, you are so right!
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